I Think I Need To Buy Another Plant
The tagline of the Millennial generation
I’ve been lying sick in bed for the past 2.5 days, and with the energy I’ve had today, I decided to get ahead on online Christmas shopping. I got some things purchased, but honestly, I’m terrible at buying gifts, so I wasn’t super focused.
While going through my 2958th Instagram scroll during a shopping break, I saw that one of my local plant nurseries was having a plant sale on their story. So I made a purchase.
Of 4 plants.
I’ll also need to get some more planters. I’ll do that when I pick up the plants.
….
Hello, my name is R.M., and I impulse buy plants.
Yes, I’m that friend.
We all have those different kinds of friends in our lives: the ones who drink Starbucks every day; the one who always bails on plans; the one who blasts 90s Pandora all day; the one who never participates in the group text; the one who always talks in show references; the one who never gets the show references.
I’m the one who impulse buys books and plants.
I know, I know — you’re wondering how I got to be so cool. Unfortunately, I wasn’t always this cool. Like many of us, these changes started coming during the pandemic.
Amidst the house projects we dove into during lockdown, we also had the time to pick up a couple of hobbies. I reignited my love of reading, something I had always done but needed a push to widen what I read and how much I read; my oldest started drawing more; my wife started exploring more with cooking, but none of that homemade bread phase — just expanding our dinner recipes now that we had time to cook longer meals; and my infant was, well…an infant. His hobby was just figuring out existence.
And then I started looking into plants.
For years I’ve tried to cultivate plants, but I never tried super hard. I had some of the known indestructible ones: pothos, spider plants, and an oddly resilient dracaena. While some other plants made appearances — a random red one that looked like a tree that I got my oldest son after watching The Lorax, a luscious basil plant that thrived for a year and committed suicide overnight, a few succulents — I had my small strong bunch that made it through years of mediocre care and a few moves across town. They are my children.
I mean…other than like…my human children.
Over the past few years, I’ve been wanting more plants; however, I stopped myself because with more plants comes figuring out strategies to keep the cat from chewing and digging in them, and I just didn’t want to deal with it.
But when my 34th birthday rolled around, which was my second birthday after the COVID pandemic started, I decided to throw caution to the wind and, as we millennials say, live my best life. YOLO. #selfcare
We were still going in and out of being locked in our houses, so why not fill that house with plants?
So here I am a few plants later.
Or like…20.
But actually…closer to 30.
Ok fine. My plant app (yeah, I have a plant app. TOTAL game-changer) tells me I have 43 plants.
But really when you think about it, I’m plant-sitting 6 plants for my friend (named “The Real Housewives of Washington”) because she moved somewhere temporarily, so I really only actually have 37 plants.
And I just impulse-bought 4 more, so I guess I now have 41.
It’s wild because as I look around my house, it doesn’t look like I have nearly 40 plants — so many of them are small little succulents or small plants on windowsills, but then when I stop and count, I do really have that many plants.
The main challenge I face is space for my plants in the sunny areas of my house. The key to doing this well with a cat is to crowd the area around the plant. If the cat can’t get to the plant, she can’t mess with it. I prefer to crowd a plant with plants.
Hanging plants is another option.
Recently, when talking to my wife about future hanging plant plans, she looked at me, paused, and suggested that I might have enough plants.
Which honestly is basically grounds for divorce.
….maybe let's not tell her impulse bought some today. She won’t even notice.
And now plants are becoming my identity.
Honestly, I didn’t mean to become the plant lady. The one where, when I say to my son, “Hey, guess what I bought today?” he rolls his eyes and says, “plaaaants.”
I didn’t mean to become that person, but I guess this isn’t the first time I’ve been known for a thing. When I was in 4th grade and discovered the Spice Girls, I was certainly that kid obsessed with the Spice Girls — the one with way too much of their merchandise. If we’re being completely honest, I still have some of their merchandise and an amazing photo-shopped picture from a student who made me into every Spice Girl.
And if we’re looking at my gene pool, everyone in my son’s class knows he’s the kid obsessed with cats. He’s the cat-kid.
So I guess no one should be surprised here.
Once again, I know you’re in awe of my coolness. Don’t worry, you too can be cool. The key part? Go ahead and just dive in head first to whatever that small hobby or pleasure is of yours and allow yourself to become that person.
Because when you unintentionally embrace that odd part of you, not only does it provide you immense joy in something seemingly small, but the people around you embrace it, too, and then they fuel your innocent addiction.
Did I say addiction? I meant hobby.
When I announced to my friends on my 34th birthday that I wanted to become great at houseplants, a few gave me plants as a gift.
When it was Christmas, my wife and oldest son joined forces to buy me 4 tiny succulents.
When one of my friends simultaneously went down a huge plant obsession path, she created a plant group at school so we can trade tips and swap starters. I was the first added to the group.
When a friend died a few weeks ago, another friend bought me a plant to share her love.
When I went on a hike for my BFF’s birthday, I told her I got her a plant for her birthday, which is when she announced she was propagating a plant I had unsuccessfully tried in my house so that, on my birthday, I could try again.
By the way, on those hikes, all we do is take pictures of plants…or us with plants.
I didn’t mean to become that person, but I’m here for it.
Why this plant path?
Honestly, I’ve always been a little obsessed with trees, plants, and nature. I worked at a nature center for 10 years of my life, starting in 5th grade. I love being outside — hiking, camping, exercising, drinking, eating, reading. Heck, all of my tattoos are nature-themed, a reminder that outside is where I thrive.
There is something about nature that is so life-giving and re-centering to me, and being able to bring that into my house really fills my heart with joy, especially when I teach in a windowless classroom and only get to see any aspect of nature for less than half a week.
Because I can’t be outside all of the time, I want to bring outside in. Being in my living room, filled with sunlight and green plants, is one of my favorite places to be.
My next step might just be buying a grow light so I can get plants into my classroom.
And while my family might poke playful jabs at me, it appears that other humans find joy in becoming slightly obsessive plant people, too. Not only have I learned this from the many memes making fun of millennials becoming plant parents (it’s almost like plants have become our emotional support objects), but I’ve apparently fallen deep into plant Tik Tok, commiserating with people whose spouses just don’t get why singing to your plants is so great, and I’ve also found the House Plant Hobbyist group on Facebook, which is the most positive and loving community of humans I have ever come across. Members have shared some very intimate and raw stories of their struggles, all centered on how plant care has saved them, and then thousands of loving comments pour in.
People celebrating people and just being kind for kindness' sake? People singing at the top of their lungs to help care for something else? People embracing nature in any way they can? These are my people.
Plant people are my people.
So, to my new colleague who, when you found out my number of plants, said, “so…you’re like…one of those people,” my answer is a resounding HELL YEAH I AM.
Can I interest you in a spider plant offshoot?
Where does it stop?
Honestly lately, I’ve actually slowed down. I went a whole month without acquiring a new plant, and I almost thought, “maybe I’m done for a while.”
Sometimes I am bored of caring for the plants. I already have to take care of myself but also keep 2 children alive? And have a job? I’m too tired.
Not to mention that my toddler is really into helping me water plants, but lacks the fine motor skills to do so at a healthy amount, but if he sees me doing it myself I won’t hear the end of it.
However, these plants have added a therapeutic aspect to my life. When I had to start teaching during the pandemic, a hellish nightmare most teachers are still recovering from (or still in the middle of), it was nice to start my mornings with my plants.
On the evenings when I just want to go to bed, sometimes it’s really peaceful to put my sons down and then have a few quiet moments alone, taking care of my plants.
And it’s not like I’m taking care of all plants every day. Usually, I need to just take care of a couple of my 43…I mean 37….well, now 41….plants at a time.
So, go buy your plant
Or whatever your equivalent is. Embrace that hobby of yours that adds an element of therapy to your life. Be that kid in class who’s really into that thing. YOLO. #selfcare. Live your best life.
But also, if you choose plants, do you want to trade starters?
